Saturday, February 5, 2011

What Was I Thinking?

I thought that since I had this same surgery last year this would be a piece of cake. Sever my tendon, lay on the couch for a couple of weeks, crutches, and eventually regain my ability to walk and maybe even my life.
There is so much that my feet have been keeping me from doing. I have spent most of my twenties with a disability that left me unable to even take a walk without horrible pain.
But now as I lay in bed, my back sore from the imobility, unable to sleep, with a throbbing foot, I wonder if I was crazy to look forward to this. Did it hurt this much last year? And if so, how did I manage to convince myself to go in a second time. Did I forget all of the pain because I knew my other foot was bad and I might have to do it again, like women sometimes do with labor?
I will just dream of summer and the time I will finally get to enjoy with my family when I can walk. I llok forward to games of tennis with my husband, trips to the amusement park, and taking my son to the zoo to see his first real penguins. All I have to do is make it through the next few days.
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